Ok it has been awhile. I admit it. I've missed keeping up with this blog, but with the twins and the kids and living life, it was the first thing to go. I figured that it was time for an update. I'm on facebook, but I don't really feel comfortable sharing personal info with such a huge spectrum of people! I imagine it as walking into a room of 300 people that I know, some well, others not so well, and sharing personal information. Um, no thank you? So here's my update with my life. I'll be brief because there are too many details to list.

On the last day of September I had an ectopic pregnancy. It was early enough that they decided to give me medication to help my body reabsorb it. It made me super sick! There was a lot of pain associated with the ectopic so they decided to remove the tube and tie the other one. There was a lot of back of forth with that decision. But it was what the Dr was recommending. Before my surgery, I began having panic attacks, although I didn't recognize that's what they were since I'd never had them before. I felt they were completely beyond my control, I could not get a breath and my chest tightened so bad it hurt. I ended up in the ER multiple times because they thought I may be having a stroke or a heart attack. While I was there I told them about some tingling in my face. The left side of my body also kept going weak. They weren't sure what it was, but felt confident that once I had the surgery it would go away. 2 weeks after surgery the tingling and weakness came back full force and didn't leave where before it was intermittent and brief. I called my Dr's office and they told me to go to the ER (of course!) The Dr this time ordered an MRI. I was supposed to be in there 30 minutes and I was in there and hour and a half! I was a little traumatized. We were joking and laughing (let's be honest, I was on drugs) until the Dr came in with a somber face and told me they found demyelination on my brain (lesions). He recommended I see a neurologist and told me he was worried I had MS. I was freaked out of my mind. I told him that I've had meningitis twice before and hopefully that was where the demyelination came from. He said it was possible, but not likely.

We went to the neurologist, and did some tests and a spinal tap (I've had two before, but this one was by far the worst). When I went back for the results, they told me it was very unusual because I had conflicting test results. Some tests said I was positive for MS and one was negative. They recommended that they treat me as if I had MS and began educating me on the treatment options. They told me the key to having any quality of life with MS was to treat as soon as possible. I was scared thinking I would live the rest of my life under these treatments, because they sounded awful. They gave me a month to think about it and I immediately called around to get a second opinion. I got into a specialist in Salt Lake and met with him a few weeks later. They told me it was perplexing and could understand the confusion but that there were more tests to be done. They ordered a second MRI on my spine, a steroid transfusion to fix my left side, and an echo cardiogram.

The day after Christmas I started. I first had the infusion, which I do think helped the weakness although added a good 15 lbs. The echo cardiogram was the biggest step, they informed me I have a hole in my heart (PFO). They shot bubbles into my arm and then brain. They told me on a scale of 0-5 I was a 5+ for the amount of unoxygenated blood that was reaching my brain. This news is both good and bad. Good news, it may explain some of my MS symptoms, so hopefully I don't have MS. Bad news, I may still have MS AND a hole in my heart. My two older sisters had holes in their hearts, but had completely different symptoms (migraines, vertigo, etc). They both had surgery, so I knew what was coming my way. PFO's can run in families. My PFO symptoms: it makes me lethargic, I get confused, super forgetful, and I get vertigo. We're also hoping to blame the weakness, the face tingling and the demyelination on it too. I'm taking aspirin to prevent a stroke and I'm trying to not let my heart race, so keeping those panic attacks in check. No exercising, trying not to lift the twins, etc. They told me to cut out stress (lol!) It has definitely made me rethink my entire life, every time I exerted myself, exercised, did a stomach crunch, I was at risk for a stroke. The fact that I have had 4 children, all vaginally, is baffling. I haven't had much tingling in my face for the last little while. However the other day I was scrubbing some pans and there was a burst in my face. Freaked the heck out of me. My in-laws Lee and Maria are graciously providing someone to now clean the house. LIFESAVER! I will most likely be having surgery to close the hole in February. My appt is on Feb 5th with the cardiologist and then I'll know for sure when it will be.

I had the MRI and the good news was, there were no MS lesions on my spine, however the radiologist noticed I have nodules on my thyroid. Again, good and bad news. We're hopeful we can blame all these symptoms on the PFO and the thyroid. I've had an ultrasound on my thyroid and a biopsy (not fun at all-like.at.all) the good news is that its not cancer, bad news, they don't know what it is. I will be starting thyroid medication  after my heart surgery. I've now lost count at all the blood pokes and needles. YUCK! I do have to give myself Vitamin B12 shots once a week. I'm also really low on vitamin D3, so I'm supplementing.

In the middle of this, my sister was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. She had surgery and started Chemo last week. So I went to get a baseline mammogram and they found a mass. I had an ultra sound and they said it was a cyst. They are pretty confident it's benign but I have a follow up appointment to figure out the next step. I will be getting genetic testing next month to see if I have the cancer gene. My sister does have the BRCA II gene.

So that is where we are. There is so much more to this story, but that is the gist of it. We are so glad to finally have some answers and feel like we are making progress. It's been very hard, but we are looking forward to more answers and surgeries so I can get back to raising my little ones. They have had an absent doped up mother for months now and it's not fair to them.  I have had so many angels helping me, taking my kids where they need to go, cleaning m house, making meals, you name it. We're truly blessed.

I'm blogging about this because I think people are beginning to wonder why I've been such a hermit lately. I've also forgotten about a million things. So I promise I'm not crazy :) (that we've discovered yet!) So I'll be updating on here so I don't have to keep trying to update people with emails and texts.

My other purpose on posting all this is to bring awareness to some of these problems. If a Dr tells you they aren't 100% sure on a diagnosis, please get a second opinion. And please tell your Dr all the little annoying things that are happening with you. I almost didn't mention the tingling in the face.

PS Sorry this post is so somber! I'm working on my attitude :) I will post happier next time I promise.